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I must confess that I am in the purist camp.  I don’t like to entertain the illusion of choice. A man is typically far stronger than a woman and could overpower us if he wanted to. By contrast, a bound and restrained creature is another matter altogether. It can beg, cry, whimper and wriggle. But there will be no revolution.

When I look at femdom photos I must confess that I am more turned on when the man genuinely has no choice but to comply. Freedom to move could mean freedom to choose, or indeed stop. Nobody wants that…

Purists argue that a free man may simply be self-gratifying. Essentially treating the woman as a service provider. Not exactly femdom?

Purists feel that a man should be bound at all times during femdom sex: blindfold, gag/urine gag, handcuffs, ankle cuffs, lead. At no time should there be the remotest possibility of free will. Purists reduce the man to an object, a tool, a receptacle.

Others feel that the man should be free to move and that it’s his voluntary submission that makes it femdom.

A purist?

We had breakfast at the Tropicana Golf Club this morning and the conversation was lively. People sometimes wonder what femdom ladies talk about. Today it was the debate over whether or not the man’s hands should be free.


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